We knew the thunderstorm was coming. A black cloud had followed us our entire honeymoon and while we tried our absolute best to ignore it, it was always there looming in the distance. The day had arrived, and despite being husband and wife now, we would have to say goodbye to each other yet again. Even though we had said countless painful goodbyes over our six year long-distance courtship, this time was different, this time seemed impossible.
However, like always, we found the strength to survive our impending indefinite separation due to the profound love we share for each other. Love truly conquers all. What also helped was knowing that this was our last goodbye. It might be months before Lucas would receive his visa that would allow him to immigrate to the United States of America, but once he did the long-distance would finally come to an end and we could begin our new life side by side. The other thing that helped were the dogs of La Suite. We had no way of knowing that they even existed when we decided to stay there. We are both huge animal lovers and nothing could have cheered us up more than a group of dogs eager to give us their attention and affection when we needed it the most.
I get daily emails from followers of My Beautiful Adventures seeking advice on how to survive a long-distance relationship. It is no secret that I am an expert when it comes to them, as I have had three great loves in my life and all three (yes, you read that correctly), were long-distance. One was 1,741 miles, another was 5,275 miles, and finally the other one was 10,355 miles. At the end of the day, milage is insignificant as being even one mile apart from the love of your life is challenging. Thus, here are some helpful tips for those that are in a long-distance relationship
Have Regular E-dates
Just because you are miles away from each other, does not mean you cannot have dates. Even though you are not in person, you should still treat your e-date as a real date. Get dressed up in your best clothes, light some candles, flirt shamelessly. It is of the utmost important to keep the romance alive.
Start a Co-journal
Pick out a journal the next time you are together and then send it back and forth when you are apart. Do not tell each other what you have written or placed inside – the element of surprise is half the fun! It is always the best feeling to come home to a package from your sweetheart.
Communication is Essential
One of the perks in being a long-distance relationship is that you are forced to communicate in a very deep and meaningful way, because when you are apart that is all you have to stay connected. Couples in long-distance relationships probably communicate better than most couples who live in the same house. Communication also strengthens trust and without it the relationship will fall apart quickly. Make Skype the third person in the couple immediately.
Become Experts in Each Others Cultures
If you are from a different culture than your partner, then there are bound to be a lot of “lost in translation” moments that can be very frustrating. Sometimes you are just not going to understand each other and that is okay. Do your best to meet in the middle and you will discover that you will both become better people because of it. The best way to have less of these moments is to do everything in your power to become acquainted with their culture. Take language classes, read books on the history of their country, befriend people in your city that are expats from their city through social media or meet-up groups.
Always Have Another Trip Together Planned
There should always be a date when you will be reunited on the calendar to look forward to. Being able to count down the days, even if it is six months away (Lucas and I went over a year once), makes a world of a difference. When the date is indefinite the situation seems hopeless.
Treasure Every Second When You Are Together
Since your time with your loved one is limited, when you are together make sure that you treat every second as sacred. Willingly choose to not fight over anything insignificant. Completely disconnect yourself from the outside world (if work allows for this) and give them 100% of your attention. Time goes by fast when you are having fun, so make it count.
Endnote: Thankfully, Lucas and I were rejoined several months later. In case you missed the post that celebrates our reunion and which I labeled The Most Important Day Of My Life, make sure to check it out, as it is one of my favorites. Long-distance relationships can seem insurmountable, but if the love is there, never give up. We celebrate our one year wedding anniversary in two weeks!
To see the accompanying post click here.