Taking The Fear Out Of Your Breakup: Heartfelt Advice That Counts

July 10, 2024

Going through a breakup is tough. It can be very demanding, both emotionally and even physically, as hard emotions can be tiring to experience. Yet a breakup is not disconnected from your regular life, either. You still have to turn up to work, to do your laundry, and to manage your daily life despite the difficulties posed.

While no blog post can tell you how to think or feel during this time, they can certainly help you with practical guidance. Moreover, this practical guidance can help you in distinct ways, such as by making the process feel less scary and daunting, thus helping to limit your fear of such an intensive life change.

For example, if you are given a helpful guide to New York child custody, then pushing for it after a divorce can feel less like an opaque, worrisome process. Understanding that is key, and can provide a distinct forward focus.

With that in mind, you may wish to consider some of the following advice for taking the fear out of a breakup. We hope our heartfelt recommendations count for you:

Allowing Yourself To Grieve

When suffering any loss in life, it is wise to give yourself time and space to process those emotions. Note that while it is important to accept the relationship is over, that does not necessarily mean you will feel detached of all bonds immediately.

However, having some time to work out those emotional difficulties can help you feel less turbulent. Moreover, as you begin to work on the process of detaching yourself from that person, you will have had the space necessary to understand and move with the process, rather than against it. But how can you “schedule time” to sit down and feel those emotions? It is not like you are clocking into a shift at work to feel emotional, these experiences come at different times.

Well, to begin with, allowing yourself a little time to reflect can help. That might mean walking in nature with a friend, writing down journal entries, or simply spending more time with your family can provide a nice break from the conventional daily routine you go through. That way, you are giving space for such emotions to come to the front.

Candidly Discuss The Issue With Your Children Or Relatives

It is important to be open with your loved ones about what is happening. You do not have to share every detail, but letting them know about the breakup can help you feel supported. Children, especially, need to understand what is going on in a way that is appropriate for their age. It is easy for parents to try and hide it from their children, and yes, dividing some of the harder conversations from their proximity is a good idea. But overall, making certain they know is an essential responsibility, and both parties should be involved in it.

When you talk to your kids or family members, you can keep it simple. Something like, “Mom and Dad have decided to live apart for a while” might be enough for younger children. Older kids and relatives might appreciate a bit more context, but you do not need to go into the nitty-gritty. Moreover, never use this opportunity to score points or sell your side of the experience. This can harm children much more than it could save you face in the moment.

Remember though, it is okay to show some emotion during these conversations. Your family is not expecting you to be a robot. Honesty is key, as you are showing them it is okay to feel sad or upset, and yes, the situation is not ideal. And who knows? They might surprise you with their understanding and support.

Practicing Self-Care Routines

Times like this can feel dizzying, but with a solid self-care routine to ground you, you will be much better equipped to go through it. You might find comfort in small rituals. Maybe it is brewing a cup of your favorite tea in the morning or taking a warm bath before bed. These little acts of kindness to yourself can provide a sense of stability despite the hard experiences, such as meeting with a divorce lawyer for a few weeks.

Physical activity can be a great form of self-care on top of that, especially because it allows you to vent your stress. That could include a walk around the park, a yoga session, or even just stretching for a few minutes can help clear your mind and boost your mood. Just make sure not to disconnect from your family members or go off on your own, it can make them worry at a time when they are already worried.

Setting Boundaries With Your Ex

Depending on how the relationship ends, you may wish for a clean break or to manage your friendship more readily. You do not have to cut all contact if you do not want to, but it can be helpful to limit interactions for a while as you figure the new normal out. If you have children together, you might agree to only discuss matters related to them or when scheduling visits.

Or you could decide to communicate only through text or email to avoid emotional phone calls. This might change as you grow, seek your own partners, and develop. But being able to move forward means doing so in a different direction from time to time, so do not think you are unreasonable for wanting that.

As we said, it is okay to change these boundaries as time goes on. What feels right immediately after the breakup might not work a few months down the line. No breakup is going to work according to a manual, so making sure you’re as reasonable as possible and not being afraid to communicate your needs is going to help you make the process less confusing. This also helps you avoid fearing if you do speak again, or work on mutual support again. 

WIth this advice, we hope you can see a breakup as less of a difficult sentence you must go through, and more of an opportunity you can use to springboard into a better future. This can help remove the fear of breakup if you know such an outcome is inevitable.

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Andi Perullo de Ledesma

I am Andi Perullo de Ledesma, a Chinese Medicine Doctor and Travel Photojournalist in Charlotte, NC. I am also wife to Lucas and mother to Joaquín. Follow us as we explore life and the world one beautiful adventure at a time.

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