Birth is usually described as magical, beautiful, and life-changing, and in many ways, it is. However, for some parents, it can be terrifying, painful, and be accompanied by unexpected moments or decisions that have lasting consequences. If your birth experience did not go as planned and you are struggling to move past it, you are not alone.
According to some research, fewer than 8% of mothers reported their birth plan being fully met. Birth trauma is more common than most people realize, but support is out there, and healing is possible.
Understanding Birth Trauma
Birth trauma does not necessarily mean a major medical emergency; it could be a long labor where you felt out of control, a moment where something went wrong, or even just a feeling of being unheard during delivery. What matters is how you experienced it.
It is common to feel anxious, numb, or sad after giving birth. Other mothers (and fathers) who experienced or witnessed a traumatic birth may replay it in their heads. You may struggle to sleep or bond with your baby. All of these experiences are valid responses to trauma.
In some cases, birth trauma involves serious injury to your baby or yourself. If medical mistakes were made, you may consider speaking to an attorney who specializes in birth injury lawsuits. This can help you understand your rights and options with someone experienced in the field.
Steps To Start Healing
Healing from birth trauma takes concentrated time and effort. Here are some small steps to start with:
- Talk about it with a partner, friend, family member, or therapist. Sometimes, saying the words out loud can make the memory feel less heavy.
- Write it down in a journal. This can help you make sense of what happened and process your emotions.
- Reclaim your space with gentle movement, self-care, and rest. These practices help you reconnect with your body.
- Avoid the comparison trap; other people’s stories do not change yours. If social media makes you feel worse, it is acceptable and healthy to take a break.
Seeking Support
Having a baby is an emotional rollercoaster, but if you are having nightmares, finding it hard to bond with your baby, or feeling disconnected, it may be time to talk to a professional. Look for someone who specializes in perinatal mental health or trauma-informed therapy.
You do not need to wait until things feel “bad enough” or you are at breaking point. It is wise to get support early, even just to check in. Local support groups are also a great place to find other new mothers you can share the ups and downs of motherhood with.
Ultimately, you cannot pour from an empty cup. For the well-being of your child and your unique family, you need to prioritize your health as well. Asking for support is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Endnote
You have already made it through the birth trauma, and now your focus must be on recovery, and on the wellness of you and your little one. This will happen in your own time and your unique way. It is a journey, but your experience matters, your story is important, and you will feel whole again.
