Do Guys Have to Send the First Message on Dating Apps?

July 14, 2023

Dating apps have transformed the way people meet and connect, but one question that often arises is whether guys have an obligation to initiate the conversation. 

On Tinder, one of the most popular dating apps, there is a common expectation that guys should take the lead and send the first message. However, it’s essential to explore this topic with nuance and recognize that individual preferences can vary. Let’s delve into the dynamics of initiating conversations on dating apps, specifically focusing on Tinder.

Breaking Stereotypes and Challenging Gender Norms

In today’s evolving dating landscape, traditional gender roles are being challenged. 

Many women feel empowered to make the first move and are actively initiating conversations on dating apps. 

This shift challenges the notion that guys must always send the first message. On Tinder, it is increasingly common to see women taking the initiative and initiating engaging conversations. Breaking free from stereotypical expectations can lead to more open and egalitarian interactions, fostering a healthier dating environment.

Cultural Expectations and Dating App Dynamics

While there is a growing trend of women making the first move, it’s important to recognize that cultural expectations and dating app dynamics can influence people’s behaviors. 

In some cultures, traditional gender roles are still prevalent, and the expectation that guys should initiate the conversation remains strong. 

Additionally, on platforms like Tinder, where millions of users interact, certain norms and patterns can emerge, perpetuating the belief that guys are primarily responsible for sending the first message. It’s crucial to approach these dynamics with an understanding of cultural context and individual preferences.

Navigating Personal Preferences and Communication Styles

Every individual has unique preferences and communication styles when it comes to dating apps. Some women prefer to be approached first as it aligns with their dating expectations, while others welcome and appreciate the initiative shown by guys. It’s essential to respect personal preferences and not generalize based on gender. The key to successful interactions lies in effective communication, mutual respect, and finding compatibility.


In conclusion, navigating the dynamics of initiating conversations on dating apps like Tinder can be complex. 

While there is a growing trend of women making the first move and challenging traditional gender norms, it is important to acknowledge that cultural expectations and individual preferences can vary. On Tinder, most of the women expect guys to send the first message, but it’s crucial to approach this with an understanding of evolving dating dynamics and respect for personal choices.

As the dating landscape continues to evolve, it is vital to foster an inclusive and empowering environment that allows individuals to express themselves authentically. 

Whether it’s the responsibility of guys to send the first message or the willingness of women to initiate conversations, successful connections are built on mutual respect, effective communication, and shared interests. 

Ultimately, the goal is to create meaningful connections that transcend societal expectations and promote a positive dating experience for all individuals involved.

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Andi Perullo de Ledesma

I am Andi Perullo de Ledesma, a Chinese Medicine Doctor and Travel Photojournalist in Charlotte, NC. I am also wife to Lucas and mother to Joaquín. Follow us as we explore life and the world one beautiful adventure at a time.

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