Queer dating apps and sites differ from other dating apps and sites due to the fact that they are often curated to serve those who are in the LGBTQIA+ community. These can range from specific niches, such as gay or lesbian dating platforms, to a more broad spectrum of potential matches.
Overall, dating platforms made with the queer community in mind are designed to help queer women, men, and non binary people to create connections with others who are like them. This is done by creating a safe online space for those in the LGBTQIA+ community, which ultimately helps them to expand their social circles, and establish a sense of community for themselves and those they connect with. Through establishing these connections they may also find themselves entering romantic relationships with others.
Benefits of using Dating apps and sites curated for the LGBTQIA+ for queer women and non binary people.
According to a study done by a nursing professor named Julie L Valentine at BYU (Brigham Young University), who studied nearly 2000 cases of sexual assault between 2017 and 2020 she found that nearly 14% of those attacks took place while meeting for the first time after connecting through a dating app. Combining this with a study from the NISVS (national intimate partner and sexual violence survey) queer women were found to have experienced the following statistics.
- Nearly 80% of Bisexual women experience sexual violence at least once in their lifetimes
- 60% of lesbian women experience sexual violence at least once in their lifetimes
- 25% of lesbian women and 50% of bisexual women experience assault at least once in their lifetimes
Queer dating apps help to create spaces made specifically for marginalized groups of people who are often victims of violence. By having a space dedicated to just women and/or non binary people we help to create a safer and comfortable environment for those who need it. With that sense of security those who utilize these apps gain more opportunities to connect with others, find those who can understand their experiences and sense of identity and over all help them to build and create meaningful relationships with others.
Top Queer Dating Apps
Everything from niche lesbian dating apps, to the best dating apps for anyone in the LGBTQ community over all. Let us take a look at the best dating apps for people who are queer and why these popular platforms are so loved and preferred over more traditional dating apps by those who identify under “Q” in LGBTQIA+.
Taimi: The best LGBTQ+ dating app to match all queer hearts
Taimi is one of the best dating apps for those in the queer community to exist. Unlike most dating apps made for the LGBT community, Taimi does not cater towards one specific niche in the LGBTQ community. Instead it acts more like a social media app that connects you with others based on location and expressed interests.
Taimi also allows you to narrow down your search for friendship or romance by having users fill out a detailed profile page that helps them to select their sexual orientation, romantic orientation, gender identity, and even more.
These features, along with the safety and security measures that the team behind Taimi takes in order to ensure that each person who joins the app puts this as one of the most popular dating sites for queer people
Queerlyelementary.com: A popular dating app lesbian women and queer women should try
If there is one lesbian dating app women should try it is this one. Queerlyelementary is one of the very first niche lesbian dating sites which was created to be a dedicated online safe space for queer women and non binary people to connect through.
Queerlyelementary is an app that is used globally, supporting more than 15 million users globally. This app is popular because it is one of very few niche lesbian dating apps, and rather than emphasizing hookups Queerlyelementary was created in a way that emphasizes finding community as well as curating both romantic and platonic relationships through the app. Although there are many other queer women utilize other apps with success, these factors make Queerlyelementary one of the best lesbian dating apps available.
OkCupid: A mainstream dating app with a queer-friendly community
Although OkCupid does not technically fall into the category of queer or gay dating apps it hosts one of the most welcoming and queer friendly dating communities to exist. Unlike other platforms on this list, OkCupid was originally created to cater towards straight people. However over time site has evolved and become one of the most inclusive online platforms which most users claim to enjoy.
Today OkCupid offers 22 gender identities to choose from, as well as 13 different sexual orientation choices that can help many users to identify themselves. This app also helps people to pursue and curate a serious relationship type by putting a focus on connecting users based on values and interests.
Although this site was not originally created with the queer community in mind, the fact that unlike other apps it became such a welcoming and safe space for queer users makes this one of the more popular dating apps for those in the LGBTQ community. With this type of growth it is understandable why OkCupid became one of the more popular dating apps for queer people.
Mainstream Dating Apps For Queer Women
Prior to this section we listed HER under the section we labeled as the best queer dating apps and sites overall. However that is not the only lesbian dating app we have the privilege of mentioning. We mentioned in that portion that while HER is popular mainly with cisgender lesbians other queer women hold a preference towards other dating apps. Let us take a look at what mainstream dating apps other queer women tend to flock towards when it comes to establishing connections and romance.
Tinder: A popular dating app with a large user base
With how popular is has become it would not be a surprise if you had used this one before attempting to try out many of the other dating sites available. Tinder is one of the most well known popular dating platforms in existence. Although it caters mainly to straight people with one of the largest user bases in the world. This app has also rolled out many queer friendly features.
These features include nearly 72 different gender options, and the ability to toggle the results of your potential matches by choosing if you want it to show men or women, or both. These types of features, and it is popularity make Tinder a very popular choice for non binary users, and queer and lesbian dating. Although Tinder is mostly popularized through hook-up cultures which is what many use the free version for these uses are not the only options for this app. For people who want to utilize the app to actually find a relationship there are many different tiers of premium subscription options.
Because all users have to go through the effort of “matching” with each other on this dating app, this means that most of the time everyone who matches with each other are normally on the same page in terms of interest and attraction. One of the biggest downfalls of this app however is the fact that there is not really a way for users to separate themselves into the categories of what they are looking for. Whether that is a serious relationship or something more casual.
Bumble: A dating app that allows women to make the first move
Bumble is one of many favorite apps for women looking for love, this is because Bumble pushes the focus away from cis men making the first move to women making the first move by allowing them to be able to send the first message in a conversation. This goes against one of the most popular, and drastically outdated norms when it comes to dating which makes women feel as if they are in more control of their dating lives.
Bumble also has some great features such as allowing users to freely choose their own gender identity, making it great for any non binary person who wants to give dating online a chance. However there is one major downside to this. Because the app places focus on women making the first move if a user chooses any gender identity aside from female when they sign up they have to wait for messages.
While this app is not a great place for making friends or other forms of casual relationships, the fact that women can send the first message makes it one of the best apps for dipping ones feet into the dating pool. At least it is a good option if you do not mind potentially waiting for a response from other women.
Plenty of Fish: A free dating app with a large user base
Plenty of Fish sports a large user base as well as many queer-friendly features making it a great place for single lesbians to find new relationships. It keeps the dating scene fun and lighthearted which also makes it great for people looking to make new friends or to find the love of their lives.
Unlike most other dating apps, Plenty of Fish focuses on aspects from real life rather than photos by seeing how well people pair together by playing games or taking compatibility quizzes. Of course it can be hard to visualize the real person when you are not seeing their pictures it is a great way for queer folks to see exactly how they might relate to someone without having to put out or read a bunch of personal ads before a first date.
Niche Dating For Queer Women And Non Binary Folks Online
Many wonderful non binary folks and amazing women who happen to be queer often struggle with online. A lack of local romantic options, not wanting to pair up with their ex girlfriends ex girlfriends, the sapphic community seeming to have only options for one night stands and hookups. Many new women to these more popular dating apps struggle to find their way without hitting a certain category of niche. Luckily whether you are unicorn hunting or desperately trying to avoid ex girlfriends, there are a few platforms you can choose from.
Fem: A dating platform for queer women who want to connect with others
If you are a woman wanting to date someone of the same gender or of similar gender presentations, then Fem is the app for you. It is hard to fake a profile on this site because Fem encourages you to introduce yourself not through a photo or biography, but with a video. This is one of the most unique features because it gives you a new approach to connecting with others before the first date is even planned out.
This makes it so much easier to feel like you have gotten to know somebody, which makes that online safety net feel even stronger. This safety and sense of community building are just two of the things Fem strives to bring their users when they use the app.
Lesly: A dating site for queer women who want to find love
Lesly has gained the honor of being one of the most trustworthy and secure places for women in the lgbtq community to be able to connect and find love. It has one of the most straightforward and easiest interfaces to use, unlike some dating apps that seem to trap users in the app with confusing interfaces and not user friendly features. Lesly may not be straight, but it certainly is forward and to the point. Just like many other dating apps, Lesly offers a free basic version as well as a monthly subscription that you can cancel at anytime. This is good because many users feel wary about purchasing subscriptions to dating apps because of the worry that they might lose out on money if they get into a relationship too quickly.
Features To Look For In A Queer Dating Site
There are many features any person should be on the lookout for while using a dating site. This is because while it is mostly safe there are certain aspects of dating and connecting with strangers online that can be considered to be unsafe. Whether it is safety, community building, or compatibility features here are just some of the safety features you should consider when looking into a queer dating site.
Safety Features: How to stay safe while dating online
Take note of the verification process when you are signing up. Do you need to take a selfie of yourself to prove you are a real person? Do you need to prove your age by scanning an ID? What about use of biometric measures where you get the option to use a fingerprint scanner?
While these steps might seem like tedious tasks at first, these are all excellent safety measures that ensure your account is not only secure but that the accounts of everyone else using the app also reflect real people, who had to verify that they are in fact actual people and not bots.
Also check out the reporting mechanism. How straightforward is it? Do you have to do a lot of unnecessary steps just to report a person who is sending you derogatory messages or threats? Does the reporting mechanism try to simply connect you with a representative to “downplay the situation”? Or does the rep handling the case actually ask you relevant questions about what happened? This is a lot to consider, however these are important things to notice because it shows how much the app actually cares about those who use the app.
If you notice a site or app that happens to have many hidden profiles, or seem to be lacking in their own community guidelines, and reporting mechanisms, are just a couple of signs that that particular app should be avoided. Overall the best dating platforms should always prioritize the safety and well-being of all users.
Community Features: How to connect with others on the site
The best online platforms will always feature many ways to build community and connections other than romantic ones. The best ones will always feature forums and group chats to help others connect and will help users to connect with each other based on their own individual identities as well as the common interests they share. These sites may even feature in person events and meetups that help people in certain areas to connect with one another.
Of course online platforms that are good do not have to have these features, however the focus on community does make many or these sites and apps rank higher than the others.
Matching Features: How to find compatible matches
Over all the best dating apps place focus on helping people find matches they are compatible with. This can seem like unicorn hunting on some but on others the people behind the app know exactly what they are doing. When looking for online dating options that have good matching features take these into consideration.
- Check reviews and see which ones have the best matching algorithms. These algorithms work to prioritize the compatibility between users making connections even more enjoyable
- Check out sites that offer personality tests and quizzes, these are used to help you connect with others based on interests rather than appearances.
- Stay clear of sites that do not allow you to set specified interests, preferences, and boundaries.
Tips For Online Dating
Whether you are a new user on the scene or consider yourself to be a seasoned professional there are many great tips that can help to vastly improve the online dating experience.
Creating a great profile
When creating the best profile it is best to be your most authentic and true self in that profile. Do not think about what others want you to be, instead think about who you are yourself and let the people who want you for you come through the most. The best connections will be made with those who share your interests and think in a similar way as you do.
Keep the photos recent, even if you do not think you have changed much in appearance in the past few years you would be surprised how blind most people are blind to that fact themselves, including yourself. It is best to use photos taken within the last couple of months, however you should not use any pictures older than 1 year.
Navigating the platforms for queer women and non binary folks
Be wary of sites that seem to lack queer friendly features, even if they claim to be queer friendly. Also check reviews and see if any sites happen to have low scores due to harassment cases not being taken seriously.
The best online platforms for dating will feature a strong focus on community and safety, and will make it easy for users to reach out to those who are running the site if any issues happen to arise.
How to stay safe while online dating
When it comes to online dating safety is a must, and while the best sites will push a strong incentive for safety on the users there are still steps that users can take themselves in order to ensure that the online dating community remains a safe space for themselves and other users.
- If a user seems like they are too good to be true, or if they become pushy or aggressive remain cautious when dealing with them. Make a report about their profile and if needed take screenshots of the conversation so that you have proof of the interaction.
- Always take proper precautions when you agree to meet in person. Do not meet anyone alone, especially if you have never met them before and only know stuff about them from pictures. Photos can be edited but the real person cannot be. Ask a friend to go to the same place you are going but to sit a certain distance away so that they can help or call the authorities if necessary.
- Do not share any personal information with others online.
