How to Focus on Yourself — and Only Self-Growth

April 18, 2021


Adult life isn’t easy. It’s just that simple. You spend a big chunk of your day working, then you have a long list of chores waiting for you when you get home. If you have relationships with people around you, you can add social obligations to your list of things to do as well. So it isn’t unusual to have a sudden or gradual realization that you’ve been focusing entirely on short-term survival rather than long-term growth. Yes, it is important to have access to things like Spectrum offers and better living space. But it is far more important to continue to develop yourself as time goes on. Otherwise, you’ll stagnate or even reach a point where both your professional and personal life begin to deteriorate. 

When it comes to self-growth, the usual route is to begin focusing on yourself. Several areas need particular attention. So if you sense room for improvement and growth in any of these areas, you can begin to work on working past your limitations. The trick, however, is to not let your self-growth come at the expense of being selfish. Here’s how to do that:

Learn To Love Who You Are, Not Who You Want To Be 

The biggest reason a lot of people are dissatisfied with themselves is that they constantly keep comparing themselves to all the millionaires and celebrities with the fast cars and big homes. Having ambition and the drive to succeed is very important. But it does not always have to follow the conventional meaning of either word. 

And it especially shouldn’t take precedence over your own well-being. Self-love has become a somewhat overused term, but it is still a powerful tool. It can help you to be kinder and more validating to yourself. This will jumpstart your journey to growth with a better understanding of who you really are. 

Be Open To New Opportunities and Experiences

Another reason people often become upset with where they are in life is resentment over all the opportunities they missed. In some cases, there are valid reasons to decline an opportunity, such as having to move away from your dependents or spouse. But in most cases, people decline exciting new opportunities out of fear. Sometimes they are afraid to step outside the comfort of what they already know. Sometimes they are counterintuitively afraid of succeeding at a potential opportunity. 

In any case, this fear is likely a huge contributing factor that’s holding you back from your true potential. And the easiest way to break that barrier is to, well, break it. Take risks and follow promising opportunities, albeit with some calculation and diligence. Once you begin to trust yourself and your ability to succeed, you’ll see yourself more confident in taking up new challenges. 

Work on Dedicating More Time to Friends and Family 

Self-growth doesn’t have to be a silo of change enclosed within yourself. We are human, after all, and that means we are inherently social creatures. When you get too caught up in your everyday grind, it is often easy to lose sight of the things that matter the most: friends and family. 

This is not just a way to meet your social, romantic, or intellectual needs. These same people are most likely to be your support system as well. Make sure you surround yourself with healthy and supportive individuals that you can turn to in time of need. And it goes without saying that you should offer them the same in whatever capacity you can. That means allocating more time to the people that matter.

Start Taking Better Care of Your Body and Diet 

Self-growth isn’t just about improving your mind, behavior, or thought processes. It is a holistic growth, and part of it includes taking better care of your physical well-being too. Of course, you don’t have to sign up at the nearest gym unless you want to. The focus should be more on making changes to your diet and making sure you’re getting a healthy amount of exercise. 

Obviously, the effects will begin to show after a few months, and the compliments and external validation will serve to boost your self-esteem too. 


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Andi Perullo de Ledesma

I am Andi Perullo de Ledesma, a Chinese Medicine Doctor and Travel Photojournalist in Charlotte, NC. I am also wife to Lucas and mother to Joaquín. Follow us as we explore life and the world one beautiful adventure at a time.

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