Everyone walks down the aisle envisioning the idealistic happily ever after. Sadly, there are times when happy unions come to unhappy ends. Sometimes, the healthiest route to take when a relationship is not salvageable is divorce. The topic of divorce is seldomly a light one. So, how do you tell your spouse you want a divorce? Here is how:
Select a good time and place
You cannot throw a bomb of such magnitude anywhere. Divorce is rarely a good thing, and there may never be the perfect place to break the news. That said, you need to try and choose an appropriate place and moment. Figure out the best place to break the news, away from the children and any other interruptions. Pick a time that does not coincide with other significant life events like the death of a family member. You wouldn’t want to pile more stress into an already stressful situation. Pick a place where you have a meaningful discussion and where both of you can express their feelings.
Be gentle but firm
You want a divorce, but that does not mean that the other party deserves less than humane treatment. Acknowledge that it may be hard for them, especially if you caught them off guard when they were not expecting it. Try to resist the urge to make it into a blame game or shouting match. Do not get nasty or feel the need to justify why the relationship can no longer work. Pick your words carefully to ensure that you are as rational as possible without being cold.
Seek professional help
It is best to seek the advice of a professional before going head-on with your spouse. A professional’s point of view will help you unpack your thoughts and validate or challenge your decision to have a divorce. If you dwell in the city of Edmonton, you can contact a family law attorney like Edmonton divorce lawyer to help you know what to expect and the nitty-gritty of what a divorce entails. At the point of seeking a divorce, both of you will likely have intense emotions. Navigate the anger and resentment using a therapist or a divorce coach. They will help you get clarity to work together and communicate effectively to make it easier to move forward amicably. A professional will also guide you on approaching the kids about the divorce. You do not want to shatter their stability.
Anticipate a reaction
Understand that anger, shock, and retaliation are within the realm of possible reactions. Divorce is emotionally intensive and may bring forth a whole gamut of emotions. Offer support to your spouse as they go through the motions. Maintain your calm to make it easier for both of you. Be gentle and avoid placing blame. That can exacerbate the situation further. It is normal if both of you are not on the same page. You have had time to mull over the decision, but your spouse has not. Therefore, you expect to have some resistance.
Conclusion
No one looks forward to a divorce. It is an emotionally draining situation for all the parties involved. The best way to make things bearable is by demonstrating compassion, empathy, and understanding throughout the entire process.
