What To Do If You Think Your Partner Is Cheating On You

January 12, 2018

Entering a relationship with implicit trust is ideal. After all, this is the very foundation of any solid union. Unfortunately, there are times when people carry emotional scars from past relationships with them. As a result, they have a hard time trusting anyone. There are also times when one or both partners prove themselves unworthy of trust. If you suspect that your partner is cheating, there are a number of things that you can and should do to put your mind at ease:

Take Stock Of Your Feelings And Your Reasons For Them

Before combing through your partner’s emails, reading his or her texts, or taking any other impulsive measures to investigate your concerns, spend some time with yourself, carefully considering your own emotions. This is also a good time to start writing your thoughts and feelings out. Try to determine why you think your partner is cheating. If you have been cheated on before, you may be unconsciously harboring the notion that everyone cheats or that you are somehow worthy of being cheated on. It is important to make sure that you are not projecting negative emotions on your partner. While cheating can destroy a relationship, constantly accusing a loyal partner of cheating can be detrimental as well.

Be Realistic About Your Relationship

Does your partner have a history of cheating? Have you had discussions about cheating in the past, only for you to be reassured with words that were exactly what you wanted to hear? If your partner is often missing in the wee hours of the night, frequently “misplaces” his or her wedding ring, or has countless hours in which he or she cannot be reached by phone, you may actually be onto something. Just as writing in your journal will help you identify any issues that you might be holding onto from past relationships, it can also encourage you to start being more honest with yourself about your current union. At the end of the day, if you do not feel appreciated or respected in your relationship, then there are definitely problems that need to be confronted.

Talk To Your Partner

Ask your partner to have an honest discussion about fidelity with you. Be as open-minded and accepting as possible, in order to encourage honesty. Tell your significant other that regardless of what the consequences of his or her cheating might be, you have a right to know. If you value your relationship, giving your partner the chance to be forthright about his or her actions and feelings is important. If you are not given any satisfactory answers, however, you have to start thinking about your mental, emotional, and physical health.

Take Steps To Protect Your Physical Health

There is simply no good reason to risk your physical health if you are unsure of your partner’s fidelity. You must be cognizant of the potential for sustaining a sexually transmitted disease that you might have to carry with you for the rest of your life. Until your concerns about cheating have been put to rest, be sure to protect yourself in all sexual encounters with your partner. This is also a good time to start practicing abstinence. It is never a good idea to make yourself more emotionally or physically vulnerable in a union when it may be falling apart.

Spend Some Time Pampering Yourself

Whenever people have a hard time breaking away from cheating partners, it is usually because their self-esteem has suffered a blow. Spend some time engaging in empowering activities that make you feel good about who you are, and incredibly capable. Pamper yourself with a day at the spa, go to the gym and participate in a high-energy, group workout, take the time to read motivational quotes, and surround yourself with loving and supportive friends. When your confidence is high, you will have a much better ability to make the right decisions for yourself.

Break It Off Or Work It Out

Cheating does not have to be the end of the road for couples. In fact, finding out that your partner is cheating could be a chance to identify other, underlying problems in your relationship that have been making both of you feel unfulfilled, under-appreciated, or overlooked. With couples counseling, two committed people have a good chance of working their problems out. If you find that you are with a serial cheater or simply with someone who values monogamy a lot less than you, then it is definitely time to break it off and move on. Staying with someone who does not respect your wishes to maintain a committed relationship is always a bad decision.

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Andi Perullo de Ledesma

I am Andi Perullo de Ledesma, a Chinese Medicine Doctor and Travel Photojournalist in Charlotte, NC. I am also wife to Lucas and mother to Joaquín. Follow us as we explore life and the world one beautiful adventure at a time.

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